Put it all on pause and prepare yourself for the life changing experience you are about to embark upon. Synopsis A martial arts rock band goes up against a band of motorcycle ninjas who have tightened their grip on Florida's narcotics trade. Bizarre gore, nonsensical plot, unnecessarily shirtless guys, bad rock songs, a limp romance, a forced long lost father subplot, awkward bromance, disembodied voices, inept fight scenes, horrible acting. Maybe it's not the uncut version of The Magnificent Ambersons, but it was still a lost film that was found and revitalised and that makes my cinephile's heart fit to burst. All that's missing is Mama B's! The music alone commands a viewing. Dragon Sound is one jam-tastic rock band whose instruments don't match the synthesizer-laden sounds they make who cares because the 80's were confusing and throw it down frequently at Central Florida's hottest night club. I knew the 1980s was a wasteland of Troma garbage and horrible B films, but this film had something more than your run of the mill awfulness.
Riding the crest of the mid-eighties ninja wave, this low-budget entry features a lesser- known fighting style but has the added bonus of bad musical numbers. But I want to start off by listing a few positive things about the movie. For everyone else, you have been forewarned. Plus, the themes of friendship and loyalty found in the movie are commendable. A review requested by Salim Garami, with thanks to supporting Alternate Ending as a donor through Patreon. Tim Brayton, our seasoned film critic, shares a more critical view of film, an appreciation for vintage cinema and perhaps limited-release movies that we might otherwise miss. The action is all that it needs to be: good fun, and people who stick it out to the final bit of fighting will be rewarded with some hilarious bursts of splatter.
Remember, the reason that this is fun is that Y. Stop everything going on in your life. Alternate Ending was formed when three friends realized they all shared a passion for movies. The nonsensical plot is as follows: a rock band made up of taekwondo experts led by director Y. So the men, one who had absolutely no knowledge of English and one who had absolutely no knowledge of anything involved in making a movie, threw themselves into production. What makes Alternate Ending different from other film sites and podcasts? I won't bother to go into the plot, it's nothing more then a generic power-struggle, that centers around their band and a certain romantic relationship that causes friction with a rival gang, but to it's credit it does seem to have a bit more going on, plot-wise, then most other martial arts films. To my ears, having lived through that time period, this stuff is beyond awful.
But it has that tang of people who lacked even the slightest conception of how movies get made or how stories get told. I dunno, a really bad syntho pop group go up against a drug cartel for some reason. Between all of these people, Hirsch can almost kind of act, and Kim at least has the benefit of not being a native speaker of English, which itself manifests in some truly special ways. A rock band on the ride to success caught up in a string of cocaine and motorbike riding ninja so they have to fight they way out using taekwondo the best martial art in the world according to this movie. So much for college-aged orphans.
The two men hitched a plan to take advantage of the 1980s explosion in popularity of martial arts-themed movies in the U. Do you have a movie you'd like to see reviewed? Kim thought he was making a straight-ahead low budget martial arts action film, the likes of which came out Cannon Films or the Andy Sidaris filmography at that time. This has to be one of the best bad movies ever made. Five taekwondo trained club musicians called Dragon Sound face off against a clan of motorcycle ninjas when the band's bassist Vincent Hirsch dates the wrong girl. Friends forever, we'll be together.
Okay let's get something outa the way right here and now. Firstly, as far as bad movies go this is one of the best. You are a stand up guy in real life, an ambassador for martial arts, an enthusiastic American immigrant, and have created something that encapsulates the absurdity that is the 1980's. It's not quite right to call it outsider art, since unlike other films that earn that title, Miami Connection was obviously made by people who'd seen plenty of movies and knew exactly what kind of commercial niche they expected to fill. The musical score really stands out in this movie. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida's narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. .
It must be said when speaking of The Miami Connection and terrible acting, well. Holy cow, do they get everything just perfectly wrong here. While scholars will argue the misdirection created by the films title, let's once and for all set the tone and clear the air. But anyway, where were we at? Unfortunately, one of the boosters in this martial arts film is in league with ninjas. Kim karate expert and in-demand motivational speaker who as you'll notice back when this was made in 1986, could barely speak English and he routinely butchers his lines, in fact he has some worst sounding speech you'll ever hear in any movie. The International Programming Contest results are in! Kim and his fellow band-mates, together they exude an irrepressible spirit, that's equally matched by the bands infectious, no-holds-barred enthusiasm for their music and it's quite obvious that their a very tightly-knit group. On a plus side some of the action sequences are quite good, and the direction does draw out some nice shots from time to time, plus it's very simple fun.
Pretty much nothing going here makes any sense, the editing is rough, and the martial arts herein go from super fast to slo-mo, giving things a hallucinatory buzz. What I wasn't expecting was the bad after school special side- plots, the rampant homo eroticism, the most bizarre and random gang of thugs ever assembled and the sheer 80s-ness of the film. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida's narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Kim had plenty of company, because the movies entire cast is comprised of virtually nothing but amateur actors, who have a minimal amount skill or experience and that fact is proved to be true in every single scene of the movie. Now I will remind you, if you aren't into watching films that are bad enough to make Mystery Science Theater 3000, then you surely will not get the sheer awesomeness of this awful movie. What I really loved was the over acting by the extras in the film.
This can be watched on Netflix - nay, must be watched on Netflix. To truly understand the gravity this film creates, first one must fully understand the essence of it's main characters. Tons of jump cuts, mismatched shots, and incidents where the editing actually makes the story more confusing, not more clear. The words reverberate through your thoughts, challenging the underlying foundation of your modern day belief system, and make you question existence itself. I just don't know what to say about this.